I just can't resist! You'll just have to look away.....

[Lin]

Beau, I enjoyed the golf one and forwarded it to my golfing friends.

I thoughts this was kinda cute.

[BeauV]

Lin,

We have bought ROMO the Wonder Dog heaps of toys, but NOTHING beats a stick! It's like kids with mud puddles - they are the BEST!

Beau

[Lin]

Beau, that is very true. When my nieces and nephews were young they found fun among the simplest things some days. Creativity and imagination go a long way.
Just as importantly is the time and energy we invest in just being with them, in the moment.

[Tigger]

Lin,

We have bought ROMO the Wonder Dog heaps of toys, but NOTHING beats a stick! It's like kids with mud puddles - they are the BEST!

Beau

Romo is a working dog--it is quite likely that he has to be doing something. When I was growing up my neighbour had a German Shepherd who would wait every day for the mailman. To bark? No. To bite? Hell no. To go with him and help deliver the mail? Yep. And God help any other dog that had the temerity to bark at the mailman! Unfortunately, this came to an end when locals starting complaining to Canada Post about the letter carrier who brought his own guard dog!

[BeauV]

Lin,

We have bought ROMO the Wonder Dog heaps of toys, but NOTHING beats a stick! It's like kids with mud puddles - they are the BEST!

Beau

Romo is a working dog--it is quite likely that he has to be doing something. When I was growing up my neighbour had a German Shepherd who would wait every day for the mailman. To bark? No. To bite? Hell no. To go with him and help deliver the mail? Yep. And God help any other dog that had the temerity to bark at the mailman! Unfortunately, this came to an end when locals starting complaining to Canada Post about the letter carrier who brought his own guard dog!

I love it! That is such a typical German Shepherd story.

[SloopJonB]

Beau, that is very true. When my nieces and nephews were young they found fun among the simplest things some days. Creativity and imagination go a long way.
Just as importantly is the time and energy we invest in just being with them, in the moment.

Best of all? The carton a large appliance comes in.

[JoeP]

Beau, that is very true. When my nieces and nephews were young they found fun among the simplest things some days. Creativity and imagination go a long way.
Just as importantly is the time and energy we invest in just being with them, in the moment.

Best of all? the carton a large appliance comes in.

+1! As kids we used to go to the local bike shop and bring home their open cartons and use them to build forts, to slide down steep grassy hills, to get inside and crawl along like tractor treads, and on and on. We didn't have store bought wood blocks either. My dad would bring home cutoffs from the shipyard in all manner of shapes and sizes. We once made a tower in the basement that reached to the ceiling and was about 3 ft in diameter. When we knocked it down my mom came running down thinking we had ruined something important.

[Tucky]

Beau, that is very true. When my nieces and nephews were young they found fun among the simplest things some days. Creativity and imagination go a long way.
Just as importantly is the time and energy we invest in just being with them, in the moment.

Best of all? The carton a large appliance comes in.

I made a boat in our basement one spring, naturally called a "Kenmore Chris Craft" and good for weeks of fun as I waited to go to Maine for the summer, where real boats awaited. Leaving Maine at Labor Day my one consolation was knowing my cardboard boat awaited in Cincinnati. Of course it had been thrown away over the summer, as no one understood what it was after I left. Now you know why I moved to Maine.

When my grandson was young my daughter practiced what she called "creative boredom". It basically involved letting him solve his own problem of how to be engaged in the world. What a gift she gave him- he can happily entertain himself for hours with whatever is in the world around him. One time he came to my business when the parking lot was being worked over as he loves machinery. He found a 3 foot broken piece of plastic conduit which became at least four magical things. When it came time to take him home he really wanted to take it with him so I loaded it in the car, knowing my daughter would understand- things only go in the trash when they are thoroughly abandoned and replaced.

[SloopJonB]

Anyone thinking of getting a tat should be required to study this for a day to consider their future.

jpg

[Rasp]

Ah! The joys of a large appliance box to a kid.

When I was about 6, our neighbor got a new refrigerator (the ultimate box) and the 5 or 6 kids on our block immediately appropriated it for our clubhouse/rocketship/pirateship, whatever our whim at the moment. It was out in the yard and we would all crawl inside and pull the flaps closed as it morphed into a diving submarine or such. The close darkness was soon disturbed by a particularly vicious fart from one of the crew which resulted in an immediate crash surfacing and abandon ship drill. The offending kid got 86'ed from our next box inspired excursions and the doors closed with him outside the box whining that we wouldn't let him join the fun. He soon went from begging admittance to 'you'll be sorry' and finally went away muttering to himself. We forgot all about him until about five minutes later I smelled some sort of petro smell and then heard a big kitchen match strike and a sudden WHOOF! as the little bastard lit off the charcoal lighter fluid that he had scrounged from the carport. We set a new record for abandon box and got out unsinged but could only stare at the kid with the matches and lighter fluid in glee with his revenge. Sort of a Stephen King moment...

His Mom came out as the box flared higher and hauled his sorry little ass off by the ear to await the return home of his Dad and the impending judgement and punishment. We didn't even see him for a week and he was forever shunned in the neighborhood. Probably in a mental facility to this day.

[SloopJonB]

Probably a serial killer - did any pets go missing in the neighbourhood after that?

[Lin]

Surely a dogged dilemma ....

[SloopJonB]

The REAL story of the three bears.

A far more accurate account of
the events of that fateful morning....


Baby bear goes downstairs,
sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl. It is
empty. 'Who's been eating my
porridge?' he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the
big table and sits in his big chair.
He looks into his big bowl and it
is also empty. 'Who's been eating
my porridge?!?' he roars.

Mummy Bear puts her head
through the serving hatch from
the kitchen and yells, 'For God's
sake, how many times do I have
to go through this with you idiots?
It was Mummy Bear who got up
first. It was Mummy Bear who
woke everyone in the house. It was
Mummy Bear who made the coffee.
It was Mummy Bear who unloaded
the dishwasher from last night and
put everything away. It was
Mummy Bear who swept the floor
in the kitchen. It was Mummy Bear
who went out in the cold early
morning air to fetch the newspaper
and croissants. It was Mummy
Bear who set the damn table.

'It was Mummy Bear who walked
the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's
litter tray, gave them their food,
and refilled their water.

'And now that you've decided to
drag your sorry bear-asses
downstairs and grace Mummy
Bear with your grumpy presence,
listen carefully, because I'm only
going to say this once....



'I HAVEN'T MADE THE
F*****G PORRIDGE YET'

[cap10ed]

Nice one Sloop .

[Jamie]

Oldie but a goodie...

Why do engineers confuse Halloween and Christmas?
















Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

[cap10ed]

Working rules for relationships

[Cherie320]

It kind of works in reverse too. We installed a wine (edit) cooler in the new kitchen to implement the security program for all. Pat

[Orestes Munn]

Wine cooker. Hmm, must one of them trendy, West Coast, kind of appliances.

[Cherie320]

fixed it - that West Coast cooker appliance was designed and installed with my fat fingers. My apology for the confusion and my Kudos to OM for pointing out the possibility of a new application for spirits presentation and consumption. Pat

[Cherie320]

After due consideration......strong coffee might be substituted for wine until the haze of early morning rising clears for the day. The cooker works for that option. Pat

[Orestes Munn]

...strong coffee might be substituted for wine until the haze of early morning rising clears for the day.

…at which time a glass of wine seems... <palms-up shrug and protrusion of lower lip> ...à propos.


Ah, the ethanol-caffeine cycle.

[BeauV]

All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one. "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed.

She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower.

Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too.

I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover.

I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his fingertips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died."

The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the waiting room.

The second applicant said that his last day was his worst.

"I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building.

I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me.

I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."

The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the waiting room.

He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters.

He apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the two fellows that arrived here just before you."

"I don't know" replies the man.

"Picture this, I'm buck naked hiding in this cedar chest......"

[SloopJonB]

[LarryHoward]

Outstanding Beau.

[Tigger]

Robert Frost and Ogden Nash die on the same day and end up at the Pearly Gates at exactly the same time.

St. Peter, who is thrilled to meet them, nonetheless has to inform the two of them of the '1 poet a day' celestial admittance policy. He decides to give them a task to see who gets in first--they have to write a poem that ends in 'Timbuktu' ... best one gets in!

The two of them scurry off and start writing. Frost comes back first with the following:

As I walked along the rocky shore
I stopped to hear the ocean roar
Two sailing ships hove into view
Outward bound, for Timbuktu.

Just as St. Peter was about to admit Frost, along comes Nash ...

When Tim and I a-walking went
We spied three maidens in a tent
Since they were three, and we but two
I bucked one, and Timbuktu!

[Soñadora]

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that it hurt whenever she touched her body.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

[floating dutchman]

Not a joke but sill kind of clever.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHixeIr_6BM[/youtube]

[SloopJonB]

Good one. The DB's yapping on their phones are worse than drunks.

Maybe it's just high tech Darwinism.

[cap10ed]

Not a joke but sill kind of clever.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHixeIr_6BM[/youtube]

Float nice post. A friend has shown me the same link. It takes this kind of savvy to reach the generation hooked on electronics rather than phonics. I watch this and look for the sailors in those faces. NOT. Drive defensively as they say.

[BeauV]

Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Fred's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Fred's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.