I just can't resist! You'll just have to look away.....

[Panope]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAGcDi0DRtU

[Orestes Munn]

6C4391F7-516F-4F00-B48D-F6CEC4FEFDB5.jpeg

[Olaf Hart]

Wow

https://www.facebook.com/16423214893303 ... 605468393/

[floating dutchman]

Heneryetta.jpg

Nobody realized just how bad it was for Heneryettaa.
I found this when I went down stairs to get the ladder.

[JoeP]

Damn! I should have kept my Cal 20!

IMG_1271.jpg

[Panope]

I'd be a hypocrite if I dissed it.

Steve

[JoeP]

Yeah, it is kind of cute.

[BeauV]

That is AWFUL!!! Jack Jensen and Bill Lapworth are rolling over in their graves - laughing!!

[JoeP]

That is AWFUL!!! Jack Jensen and Bill Lapworth are rolling over in their graves - laughing!!

Nothing a flybridge wouldn't cure....

[IrieMon]

And yes.... that Cal25P (P for power) definitely needs a flybridge.... and a fishing bowsprit.... and be named Orca

(ok... fishing bowsprit is not the proper term..... what is it ?)

[kimbottles]

Swordfish sprit?

[Jamie]

[IrieMon]

ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly
contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.
The winners are:

1. Coffee (N.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (V.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (V.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (Adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (Adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door
in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (V.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (N.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (N.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a
steamroller.
10. Balderdash (N.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (N.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (N.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (N), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (N.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (N.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die,
your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (N.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the
dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new
definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (N.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from
penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the
near future.
2. Foreploy (V): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (N.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (N): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (N): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (V): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (N): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (N): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (N): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes,
right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (N.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things
that are good for you.
11. Glibido (V): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (N): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at
you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (N.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally
walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (N.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three
in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (N.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're
eating.


And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (N): A person who's both stupid and an asshole

[Jamie]

[Olaf Hart]

https://www.facebook.com/BBCOne/videos/ ... 244403739/

NSFW

[BeauV]

OK, for all of you proud Canadians, here's what Jeff Foxworthy said during a recent appearance at Caesar's:

If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
South of Kelowna for the weekend,
You may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada

If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada .

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada

If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada

If you carry jumper cables in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada

If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 95 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada

If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada

If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction,
You may live in Canada

If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .

If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada

If you actually understand these jokes,
and forward them to all
your friends,
you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.

[kimbottles]

I love Canada for so many reasons.

[JoeP]

I am a big fan of Canada. I'm even teaching myself a bit of Canadian.

[kimbottles]

I am a big fan of Canada. I'm even teaching myself a bit of Canadian.

Let's sing Oh Canada together Joe!!

[Tim Ford]

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Certainly a good idea to remain vigilant! One never knows when an adjacent country is going to launch a preemptive invasion.

Stay strong, Canada!

[Tigger]

I still like Pierre Berton's definition of a Canadian: "Somebody who knows how to make love in a canoe."

[Jamie]

For any children or grandchildren, or even adult children: The Secret Life of Machines Any show the begins with Val Bennet's version of Take 5 - a reggae version called, The Russians are Coming - and ends with a bit of performance art involving the item being discussed at the end, sly humor, and lots of live demonstrations of the technologies and development along the way, must be worth a watch.

My kids (and I) enjoyed this show when they were little.

http://www.exploratorium.edu/ronh/SLOM/

[BeauV]

REALLY BAD DAD Jokes, according to my kids:

What do you call the fastest sailboat in the world? Usain Boat.

What detergent do sailors use? Tide.

What does a drunk sailboat do? Get Wrecked.

How do you make a yacht look younger? Boat-Tox.

[Olaf Hart]

Round here they are called Dad Jokes

[Benno von Humpback]

Round here they are called Dad Jokes

Here too, but those are sub-dad.

[Jamie]

What really happens at NORAD

[Olaf Hart]

I know the UK can’t find its way out of Europe, but it seems they can’t find their way into Europe as well

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-03-26/ ... y/10938796

[BeauV]

THINGS TO PONDER

1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?

3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?

4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?

5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.

6. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.

7. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims"

8. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

9. If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.



Four great confusions still unresolved....

1. At a movie theater, which arm rest is yours?

2. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?

3. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?

4. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made

And now a sixer ....Vagaries of English Language! Enjoy!!!

Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?

Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?

How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?

If money doesn't grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?

If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

How do you get off a non-stop Flight?

Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?

Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?

Why do doctors 'practice' medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of the patients?

Why is it called 'Rush Hour' when traffic moves at its slowest then?

How come Noses run and Feet smell?

Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?

What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?

We can never find the answers, can we? So just enjoy the pun and fun of the English language!!

[Olaf Hart]

True story, I took an unused fitting back to the boat parts shop in Airlie Beach to exchange for some turnbuckles.

The guy behind the counter said “ you can’t exchange that”

“ it’s a non return valve...”

[JoeP]

True story, I took an unused fitting back to the boat parts shop in Airlie Beach to exchange for some turnbuckles.

The guy behind the counter said “ you can’t exchange that”

“ it’s a non return valve...”