You Know Your Spouse is a Keeper When ...

[Tigger]

She turns to you after watching 'All is Lost' for 15 minutes and says with a straight face: "No wonder he didn't win an Oscar. He's not wearing a survival suit or a lifejacket and he is not tethered to the boat."

[Tim OConnell]

Lol good one !

[BeauV]

Yes... and "the hatch is open".

(Good idea for a thread!)

[Orestes Munn]

...without interrupting her expert technical commentary, she throws a coat over your lap and sneaks her hand into your pants?

[Tigger]

...without interrupting her expert technical commentary, she throws a coat over your lap and sneaks her hand into your pants?

How on earth did you know you? Even though we were by ourselves at home, she is still very discrete!

[Soñadora]

...without interrupting her expert technical commentary, she throws a coat over your lap and sneaks her hand into your pants?

...and pulls out a $20 bill

"I wondered where that went."

[Britches]

...without interrupting her expert technical commentary, she throws a coat over your lap and sneaks her hand into your pants?

...and pulls out a $20 bill

"I wondered where that went."

[derekb]

When she helps chip the ice out of the bottom of the college dbl handed boat so we could get more practice hrs.

[BeauV]

When she makes double recipes of Safatho (Greek Beef Stew) and lets me eat most of it!!!

[SloopJonB]

When she's put up with you for 34 years (with very few complaints).

When there are only two or three restaurants in the city who can outdo her cooking.

When she's happy to receive kitchen appliances for Christmas & birthday presents.

When her wedding present to you is a very expensive gimballed oil lamp.

When you're shopping for a boat and she repeatedly says "It's nice but we need something a little bigger".

When a berth in the best & most expensive marina in town (5 minutes from home) becomes available and she says "Go down and get it".

When you buy her a Jaguar for her birthday because you think she deserves it.

When you still hold hands all the time after 34 years.

[kimbottles]

When she is the smartest gal you have ever met.......

[Orestes Munn]

When her reaction to considerably lesser offenses has taught you all you need to know about the likely consequences of trying to un-keep her.

...and all the sappy stuff, of course.

[Rob McAlpine]

When you know she is better than you could ever possibly deserve.

OK, SJB, you're officially on my Good Dude list. Kim and Orestes have been there for a long time, especially since I've actually met Orestes & J.

One of my rules has always been that we do not do business with people who cheat on their wives. Many years ago I got a call from Enron, they wanted to come to town, go to lunch, and pitch a bunch of funding at me.

I wouldn't let them pay for lunch, took 3 of their VP's to the Petroleum Club. They wanted to fund me into acquisitions for 20-30 mil, back when this was a metric shit ton of money. Then the lunch conversation turned to the models these guys were dating and how much they hated their wive's divorce lawyers.

I got back to the office and the conversation went:

Brother: "How'd it go?"

Me: "They want to give us $20-30 mil to grow."

Bro: "We're taking it, right?"

Me: "No."

Bro (incredulous): "Why not?"

Me: "Because they're all cheating on their wives. If they'll cheat on the mothers of their children, they'll cheat me in a heartbeat."

The Enron collapse was inevitable, because the top management were not honorable people. One of the things I like about this forum is the sense that there are a lot of honorable people here.

[kimbottles]

When you know she is better than you could ever possibly deserve.

OK, SJB, you're officially on my Good Dude list. Kim and Orestes have been there for a long time, especially since I've actually met Orestes & J.

One of my rules has always been that we do not do business with people who cheat on their wives. Many years ago I got a call from Enron, they wanted to come to town, go to lunch, and pitch a bunch of funding at me.

I wouldn't let them pay for lunch, took 3 of their VP's to the Petroleum Club. They wanted to fund me into acquisitions for 20-30 mil, back when this was a metric shit ton of money. Then the lunch conversation turned to the models these guys were dating and how much they hated their wive's divorce lawyers.

I got back to the office and the conversation went:

Brother: "How'd it go?"

Me: "They want to give us $20-30 mil to grow."

Bro: "We're taking it, right?"

Me: "No."

Bro (incredulous): "Why not?"

Me: "Because they're all cheating on their wives. If they'll cheat on the mothers of their children, they'll cheat me in a heartbeat."

The Enron collapse was inevitable, because the top management were not honorable people. One of the things I like about this forum is the sense that there are a lot of honorable people here.

+100, Rob is my kind of guy!

[BeauV]

Rob - great story! I have a few like that with VCs who wanted to fund start-ups I was doing. I learned the lesson the hard way, by getting it wrong the first time. Great rule to live by:

Character first, everything else will follow.

[LarryHoward]

Well put Rob and and reflects my one of my biggest disappointments in the transition from senior military to business. 95% of the time, a senior military officer will pick integrity over short term gain. I have seen far too many industry folks who see profit and success as the only metric and who will throw long term associates under the bus for short term gains the companies they lead reward that behavior.

I can forgive mistakes and even incompetence and I can be a fierce negotiator. I expect my associates and my employees to first look to what is best for the customer. Lie to me or a customer for personal or corporate gain and I'm gone.

Good on ya.

[Orestes Munn]

Well, Rob is right, no doubt, but I would be prouder of my own marital fidelity had there been more temptation to resist.

[Olaf Hart]

Well, Rob is right, no doubt, but I would be prouder of my own marital fidelity had there been more temptation to resist.

I think some people just wander round with a flashing sign on their forehead saying they are on the market, married or not.

If you don't have the sign lit, the offers don't come (much).

Women are good at reading the vibe. As an experiment, look at a random woman who can't see you, about half will return your gaze.

[Orestes Munn]

Well, Rob is right, no doubt, but I would be prouder of my own marital fidelity had there been more temptation to resist.

I think some people just wander round with a flashing sign on their forehead saying they are on the market, married or not.

If you don't have the sign lit, the offers don't come (much).

Women are good at reading the vibe. As an experiment, look at a random woman who can't see you, about half will return your gaze.

I look at all women, random or otherwise. Just ask my wife. My daughter learned her first big lesson about men when she was about 11 and I closed the car hatch on her head while staring at someone. However I think you're right about the "available" sign.

[LarryHoward]

I think my sign burned out 26 years ago this month. Those of you who know Lynne will understand. She is far better than I deserve.

[kimbottles]

Good lord! I got you by 20 years!!

I was finished off 46 years ago when I first met SWMBO!

And yes, I don't deserve her, but I am keeping her anyway.

[Slick470]

I went to a tactics seminar a couple weekends ago. The owner of a boat I'll be doing some racing on this upcoming season handed me a copy of the latest Dave Perry racing rules of sailing book. I told him thanks but once I get it home I'll have to forfeit it to my wife.

Just as predicted, I got home Sarah took one look at it and goes, "thanks I've been wanting one of those" since then I have only seen it when she is reading it. She'll read the whole thing, understand it and be better crew for it. We'll discuss a few scenarios and when she's done I'll end up skimming through the changes.

It's a stupid example, but pretty much par for the course. For those of you who know Sarah, I got lucky, and she still puts up with me. Which is nice.

Edited some, just because.

[LarryHoward]

Good lord! I got you by 20 years!!

I was finished off 46 years ago when I first met SWMBO!

And yes, I don't deserve her, but I am keeping her anyway.

I had a false start and took a significant break before trying a second time. Interestingly enough, we spent time with the first and her second over the weekend at our daughter's wedding. She's a fine woman and her second is a healthy marriage and we like and respect them both. I think it worked out for the entire extended family and I'm comfortable that we both "traded up" and our mutual support was good for our daughter.

[Soñadora]

Well, Rob is right, no doubt, but I would be prouder of my own marital fidelity had there been more temptation to resist.

exactly why I have a job in IT. Nothing like being surrounded by a bunch of Indian guys to keep you focused

[Orestes Munn]

Ah, the Victorian feminine ideal. If these women were such goddesses, they would have dumped us lowlifes and married decent fellows.

I think I got more or less what I "deserved" in a spouse and so does she. We meet most (but certainly not all) of each others' needs, trust each other, and, most importantly, crack each other up. Both of us can be a real pain in the ass. I am endlessly grateful to her for her companionship these 38 years, but it's been a two-way street and, hey, that's what we're wired for.

[BeauV]

To provide a little background, my Admiral is my third trip to the well of goddesses. My first, age 21, marriage only lasted 18 months. It was "fun" and then it was "unfun". My second trip to the well lasted 28 years and produced two great kids but a lot of heart ache. I figured I was DONE with all this, and would be a happy sailing bum living out my years in the south of France crewing for rich landlubbers who bought me booze and food. That lasted a couple of years and BAMMM!!!! I found the Admiral.... I was love struck in a way I'd never been.

She's wonderful, perfect, all those things we love-struck men say and I'm never ever ever going to let her get anywhere that I'm not. So, no more South of France. No more sailing for rich dudes with models on their arms. I'm a gloriously happy Opa and you really don't want to listen to me emote on the "why" she's a keeper. Trust me, for me, third time is really and truly the charm.

[Ish]

On my starter wife still after 20 years.
The first for both of us, it's been way fun. After meeting her for the first time, my dad told me I'd be insane not to marry her.
We first met when we both lived in Saskatchewan, then didn't see each other for a long time after I moved to Victoria. Anne came out for a year of post-grad, which was bankrolled by her school district, and we met up again. She moved back to Saskatoon to finish out her contract, which was another three years. She flew back out here every few months, which kept us going.
The first Christmas apart, I gave her a Mustang Cruiser Suit. It was pretty obvious that she wasn't going to sail in Saskatchewan, so that was essentially her engagement ring. We had to buy out her contract (ouch!) so she could move out here, and we got married. Smartest thing I ever did.

[SloopJonB]

Beau, she bought you a freakin' CANNON! You think we hadn't figured it out?

[SloopJonB]

I met my wife in an unusual way. In 1979 I had just started a new job in an office almost entirely populated by young women - there were IIRC only 3 guys , one was gay and one was married. The woman who hired me (I found out later) had gone into the lunchroom and announced that she had hired a really cute guy for them, which created a bit of a stir and started some jockeying.

The day I started they weren't really ready for me so they handed me "The Manual" and set me aside for the day. I was sitting in the admin area with my feet up on the desk, reading it when my wife to be came strolling along, long legs, heels, tight red knitted dress, strawberry blond Farrah Fawcett hair and a Playboy Bunny necklace. She flashed me a big smile and at that exact instant my chair went out from under me and laid me on my back on the floor.

Would you call that destiny?

[Olaf Hart]

You fell for her the first time you met her?